10 New Year Resolutions for Your Dog

Resolution #1: I will eat less and exercise more.
Too many nights on the couch. Too many dog biscuits and too little time running around the yard. I don’t think the old “I’m just big boned” excuse will work anymore. I promise to bug my owner more to take me out and about more often.
Resolution #2: I will beg less
I have got begging down to a fine art! My owner is putty in my hands. I promise to reserve the begging for more worth while things like going to the park and a T-bone steak.
Resolution #3: I will recognize the difference between furniture and fire hydrants
The resolution speaks for itself, no explanation needed
Resolution #4: I will stay out of the cat’s litter box
I vow to resist the urge to snoop around the cat’s private lavatory- even though it is a lot of food and really drives the cat nuts.
Resolution #5: I will not bite the vet anymore
I will try to remember that the vet and their staff are just trying to help me stay healthy, even though they really try to push my buttons with those needles and that thermometer.
Resolution #6: I will not steal your food (that much)
I will not go out of my way to steal food off your plate but anything that hits the floor is fair game.
Resolution #7: I will be more sociable
I will focus above the waist when being introduced to new people. And I will try not to show my teeth when I “smile” at them.
Resolution #8: I will do better “holding it” until morning
I will tell Mother Nature that she will have to wait to see the morning sun, however, special considerations will apply and I will decide what those special considerations are.
Resolution #9: I will not bark at the mailman as much
Even though my barking helps the mailman do his job in a timely fashion I will try not to exercise my authority over him and other delivery people unless I see that they are slacking in their performance.
Resolution #10: I will tolerate those home made bandannas more
I realize that my owner has gone to a lot of trouble to make me these things, so I will just wear them with pride, even when the other dogs taunt me for them because I love my owner and I am proud of them just as much as they love and are proud of me!